So now we have a conservative ex-Hitler Youth pope. I don't want to totally say he's a Nazi, since he did desert towards the end of the War, and he's also the second ever Jewish pope. But what I do want to say is that, being an ex-Catholic myself, that we do not need another anti-contraceptive, anti-homosexual and gay marriage, and anti-woman priest pope. Good thing is that he's already pretty damn old.

Remember the good ol' days of liberal Catholics like JFK? Well the tide is shifting towards conservatism in the American Catholic church, which only adds to our bullshit moral majority bible-belt conservatism problem which, gulp, legitimately re-elected GWB.

Maybe we'll see a Vatican III in our lifetime which will open it's doors to gays, women priests, condom users, and hippies. After all, Jesus was a gay hippy who might have well have been a woman and never reproduced.

So first, the name. Why is it that in our bureaucracies we must create a committee to prevent oversight called the Oversight Committee? Oversight prevents oversight. A one-word oxymoron. I think we should call it a Committee of Overseers. I often try to think of other one-word oxymorons, but they're pretty rare.

Another thing that has been resounding in my mind lately has been the emergent danger of hybrid vehicles. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for wiser use of energy. But the damn things are too silent. I almost got hit by a Toyota Prius when I was biking because I didn't hear it. Bikers and walkers should take precedence because we're running primarily on oxygen. I mean, I also drive all the time but I drive a good old-fashioned loud gas-buring automobile, warning all pedestrians and bikers with combustive roar. These wack little electric-assisted engines make practically no noise when they're not combusting.

The solution? Legislation requiring that all hybrid and electric vehicles emit whalesongs through a loudspeaker. I guess you could give people a choice what sound their cars make, like, I don't know, Enya, happy forest stream noises, panda mating sounds; but it's gotta be something or we're gonna see some real tragedy on the streets.