The Shoe Bomber Effect
You remember "shoe bomber" Richard Reid, right? There's no way you've forgotten him... he was kind of the softer side of terrorism, what with his wildly unmanaged hair and googly crazy eyes and the fact that he was caught squirming around in his seat trying to light his fucking shoes on fire. Hilarious! We all knew it was. You laughed. Admit it.
We all knew, that is, except for the "terrorism experts" at our local airports, who started (and in some locations I imagine have not stopped) having us take our shoes off. It's as if Richard Reid hit the scene, and Federal security personnel looked at each other and said, "Oh my God! Did you know that? Did you realize that they can put bombs in shoes now?? They're going to put bombs in everyone's shoes now, because they did it once! Take off your shooooooes!!!"
Yeah. Idiots. We call that "reacting," not "acting." We call that "fumbling around with a sack over our heads asking why the lights went off," not "actually protecting Americans from terror."
Meanwhile, as Senator Patty Murray has pointed out over and over and over and over and over and over again, our ports are totally and completely insecure and they are right smack in the middle of huge population centers and they are a perfect target because there is No. Cargo. Inspection. At all.
What brought this on? I'll tell you. I am at this very moment listening to To the Point on public radio. Warren Olney is speaking with, among others, James Carafano of the Heritage Foundation, everyone's favorite loony-toons conservative think-tank. This little space alien is putting forth fascinating justifications for not securing anything from terror... especially the ports. Let me enumerate them:
- If you "harden" a target (by increasing its level of security), The Terrorists will just hit a "softer" target, so no target should be hardened.
- The Terrorists (because there is only One Group In The Whole World who hates America, now and in the infinite future, and it's Al Qaeda, and we're just going to focus on them, forever) "don't have the infrastructure" to do anything sophisticated, like hit the ports, so we just shouldn't worry.
- We should get The Terrorists where they live instead. Because we've done such a good job of that in the past, and because we've never actually opened a country up to terrorist activity by invading it. No siree we haven't.
- Also we should just have more Coast Guard patrols (if they're not too busy with the all-successful Drug War, that is).
- The economy is really important, so we shouldn't burden shipping and other companies with regulations and fees for security. Because, you know, the destruction of the Twin Towers didn't hurt the economy at all.
- The money for airline security comes from extra taxes, so that's why there's no transit security, because it costs a lot of money. And I'm sure the Federal Government couldn't cut its spending on lower priorities (pointless wars in sovereign states, Bush's entirely ineffectual Social Security Roadshow) and fund stuff that could stop people from dying.
- And then he contradicted himself by saying that transit, nationally, has been given $250 million for security (oooh a big 250 for the entire country I am so impressed), by the Federal Government, and they haven't used it all yet so see? They don't need it.
- Transit is an open system! It's hard to secure it! Wah-wah get 'em where they liiive waaaaah!! What a tool. Subways and other mass transit systems have been terror targets in other countries for decades. Obviously it will happen here eventually-- we could at least invest in some bomb-sniffing dogs, no? Oh wait. That might hurt the economy. Silly me not wanting everyone I love and care about to die on their way to work.
See? This Carafano guy's an idiot. But according to everyone, he's the guy who Michael Chertoff, Head of Homeland Security, is listening to.
See you in the afterlife, love.



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