I was down at Belltown Billiards on Friday night, doing what I do best (drinking beer), when I had a very rare opportunity. I was waiting on some friends, and I didn’t want to be the guy sitting alone at the bar, so when I heard a guy talking about his dad being in the Marines I told him that I was also in the Corps. This fellow was very excited to talk to me, telling me all about his family being in and how he wished he could go in, but they wouldn’t let him because of some skin problem that he had. He told me how he was going to make his kids join, to which I chimed in I would talk to my children about joining and try to discourage them because being in isn’t really all that great. Oh boy. Can open, worms everywhere. This guy asked me why the hell I got out, I told him I did my four years, it wasn’t for me, and when my contract was up I went. He started going off on me about how I had dropped out, and that I was a disgrace to America and that I had no patriotism. To that I replied that I’m not a violent person, but if he said that again I was going to kick him in his ever-loving ass. At this point the bartender intervened, and told the gentleman that if he kept it up he would be asked to leave. Of course, you put alcohol in an asshole I and it’s bound to bloviate. He asked me about what happened on 9/11, and I stated that 14 Saudis, a couple of Egyptians and a Lebanese hijacked planes and flew them into buildings, and I stated the nationalities of the men who did it to make a point; what did anything with 9/11 have to do with Iraq? Of course, this guy is that 30% who still believes that it was all Iraqis on those flights, and that’s why. To that, I called him fucking retarded, and he was asked to leave the bar, to which he did all the way yelling that he was a small business owner.

Granted, this was not my first run in with a rabid Bush supporter, but by far it was the most bizarre. He was missing teeth. He looked like a reformed crackhead, only better dressed. He was not what I would call a stereotypical republican, but nonetheless this guy did have a few burnt circuits prohibiting any type of critical thought. In retrospect I feel bad about calling him a retard, because that would actually be insulting to people with decreased capacity.

So the next time someone offers you drugs kids, just say no.